July 17, 2012

Keep calm, and buy tartan*.

Or advice on how to spend during the recession.

(strutting the tartan-Alan Cumming (a.k.a. Tartanscot), *advice-Charles)

Ever since the recession began (the 2007–2012 global recession, sometimes referred to as the late-2000s recession, Great Recession, the Lesser Depression, or the Long Recession), I have given a lot of thought to how a connoisseur should handle the situation. 

Here is what I have decided for the duration, which I figure will last, at least, another year or two and will be comparable to the nasty economic downturns of the 1970s.
In the good, fast times, I did what I hope the majority of you did- put some funds aside for the inevitable sinker.

Buy a work of art immediately.  It will make your soul feel better, and today the prices are getting righter by the month. 
Minimize the risk of the stock market – scout locally for investment possibilities in small businesses that have been unable to secure a bank loan.  Hunt particularly in waste-management enterprises, i.e. innovative gasification technologies.
Think of renovating the house or apartment.  Bids will certainly be lower.  Seek the small contractors, who are going to cut profits to keep their work forces together.
Check out the real-estate market (understatement of the century).
Plan to trade in your car earlier than usual, look for a super deal with all the extras, including power takeoff and plow attachment.
Vacation in America.  If you want to go to Europe or the Orient, look into the highly refined group tours and become an expert on bargain airfares.
Cull the rare-books shops and assemble those hundred greatest books you should have bought-not to mention read-long ago.
Buy cloth of only the highest quality.
Become viciously picky and judgmental when it comes to seeing anything, from museum shows to movies.
Make a list of your most discriminating friends, and share tips on what is absolutely the best in anything you want to purchase.  Always insist on quality.
Funnel all your charitable giving into those activities that truly do enhance the quality of life for everybody.
Do not be too cautious or simply hunker down.  Get on the move.  Look around; opportunities and bargains are everywhere.
And, of course, try to hold on to you sense of humor-consider the alternative.

Best, always.


Anonymous said...

That Cheeky Monkey(Tartanscot).

Thanks for the advice!

Charles said...

Get a fresh cup of Scottish Breakfast tea . . . and let's get ready to get tartan . . .
Oh, tartan ties, me needs them.

Anja said...

Men in tartan? I can't... I just can't stop looking. Nothing is hotter than that!
Why the heck did I not stay in the Highland Hotel when I was in Inverness?


Alistair (kiltless) said...

Look at Alan Cummings, all cute.
Very tongue in cheek an all around inspirational post. And yes, we are considering the alternative!


Mona said...

Good Advice Ms. Edna.

your gaggle of fans (without kilts, rats) said...

We need more men in kilts. Let’s talk to our president about changing White House dress code. Thanks lovely post...

smiling said...

Very sound recession advice. Thank you very much.

Ms. Edna (squared) said...

Thank you gaggle of fans-lovely link.

frenchtoast said...

Women! Men!
Thanks Ms. Edna good advice.

SvO said...

Real men wear plaid which makes them ‘Dressed to Kilt’! And that’s no Trifle, that’s a Tipsy Laird.

Thank you for the post, interesting.

Gen Y reader said...

I think I've found the cure for all this political doublespeak (post Ms. Edna?) and tragic economy and war: Escapism.
The only thing better than a rich, fat novel is six thick volumes, all nicely bound and lovingly reproduced with original 19th century illustrations.
Ahhh. A full set of The Oxford Illustrated Jane Austen.
Since I'd rather not take to drink over all this horror, I've decided to take to Austen instead. I'm talking 565 pages, with appendices. Portable Heaven and no scrolling ticker.
Thanks for the post.

Ms. Edna (squared) said...

Hm, let me think, perhaps.
Jane Austin not bad Gen Y.