Happy Birthday (again)

We are still an ocean apart, therefore, another birthday post.

I know, NO tearjerker-

-also no picnic on the beach, late night dip in the Pacific, and hike home at the wee hours.

Oh, in case you forgot, I am your godmother (for those of you still chafing at the appointment of this non-Catholic godmother, be still!) and I fully intend to give you wise, unsolicited, and mortifying advice for the rest of your life. Yes, the kind of advice that will result in a superb eulogy at my funeral.

I had promised your mother that I would not talk to you about sex until you ask, though, having known your parents, I suspect that anything I would tell you would be old news and I think that the past two years have been more like, 9 1/2 weeks, huh? What better time to continue with my promise than right here, right now? Follow these simple guidelines and you, me, and the world shall get along just fine.

• Driving drunk is dumb
• unprotected sex is dumber
• treat others as you would like to be treated and…

…you will live to be 25.

For everything else, do not worry, you will pick it up as you go along. Though you can come to me for advice, just do not ask me about women (I am clueless on that subject).

Happy Birthday Clive…